FUNNY RUBBISH: How 2010 got it wrong

by Larry Jerkins

I saw the movie "2010" last week again, and realized "hey, 2010 is NOW (if this was 2010, which it's already long past)! Blimey. This is what they envisioned for the present."

So what went wrong?

No talking computer with its own personality and wide angle lens eye. Except maybe in Japan. Instead, all we have are impersonal computers infested with viruses over the internet, all for parasitic intent and to steal our credit cards.

No groups comprised of people from various nations exploring space together. Instead, the only explorers are "rovers" that aren't even alive. One small step for the machines, one giant leap for... machines. Who cares. I wanted to be on Mars collecting stuff. Not some radio controlled collector's toy that takes pictures that are always released in blurry format and which is suspected to actually just be photographing a dessert somewhere on earth tinted red to pretend it's Mars.

No walking upside down in spacious space shuttles. Instead, astronauts are strapped in most of the time, and there isn't room enough for them to dance unencumbered to the works of classical composers. Ok maybe that was from "2001 A Space Odyssey", but same enough.

No rectangular beings that sing like a church choir on caffeine, that amuse monkeys holding bones.

How far did we come instead? We spend money on garbage instead of using it to institute something really useful like a shuttle service to other planets. We'll call them "Boats-To-Heaven". Or Shems. Or "Ascension Airlines".

Should we have a base on the moon? No, rather a mall. So you can like have a good meal and buy "I ♥ MOONING" shirts.